Teen Dating Violence is an issue that is rarely spoken of but unfortunately is occurring more and more. “One recent national survey found that about 1 in 10 female high-school students and about 1 in 11 male students said they had been hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriend or girlfriend in the past year” (SafeYouth.org) We all love the idea of being in love and having someone to share our everyday with but recognizing a healthy relationship and building those healthy relationship skills is imperative.
Fortunately, I was never in a relationship where I felt any type of abuse, verbal, emotional and/or sexual and hope to never be in one. Yet, growing up in an abusive environment, where I witnessed for most of my childhood, domestic violence between my parents, definitely gave me a first hand experience on what a healthy relationship is versus a non-healthy relationship. The basics of any healthy relationship are respect, trust, loyalty, honesty and overall friendship. Every relationship we experience will be different but all must have the key components or without them there is no relationship. As love will be different for all but common characteristics such as the ones mentioned above are necessary to let love grow and harmonize a relationship.
If you find yourself to be a victim of an abusive relationship or know someone who is, and remember abuse is not just physical, then do your best to speak up and get help. As I once read, “treat the person you date as you would want your future wife/husband to be treated by their current date.” Our behavior is learned and negative behavior will continue to hurt not just us but those who will be with us in the future, if we do not take a stand for change now. Respect from others comes when you respect and love yourself first. Through our program, we talk about preventing early sexual activity before marriage but it’s not just about sex. Abstinence is about empowering yourself in order to make those healthy choices that help in strengthening your character. How are you going to understand the depth of marriage if you are unable to comprehend the basics of a healthy relationship and developing the necessary relationship skills to enjoy a healthy marriage? What are your ideas of a healthy relationship and a healthy marriage?
Jessica Guerra
Manager Proud To Wait
Los Angeles
If you are familiar with the “Jerk movement”, then you probably already know who the new boyz are. They are a hip-hop music group that is rating the charts amongst teens today. Recently, they released a song called, “Tie me down.” Look at a portion of their hit song:
“No I’m not going make a scene,
But you cant tie me down like a pair of shoe strings,
Yea you cute. so what?,
But lets get it through your head,
Yea we make love, sex, weed all in the bed,
Its the best thing I love about you,
But things don’t change,
When I’m not faithful,
You be feel’in all pain,
Now you stuck like a stain and i cant believe that,
Baby girl want hundreds i ain’t tryn’a do that,
Got so many girls and i ain’t lett’in go,
Cause my life is great,
And you ain’t nothing but a ……She ain’t gone tie me down”
As popular as the song is today many young men and women find themselves drawn to the urban style and message of promiscuity. It is no surprise to find teens engaging in sexual activity- However, what is becoming more and more acceptable in today’s generation of youth is casual sex. As we see in the song and in life, many people are always about one thing: Self-gratification. As more and more people agree with the message of promiscuity, the dangers and consequences rise as well.
When a person becomes sexually active and starts to have multiple sex partners the risk of contracting an STD becomes higher. According to a recent Statistic 50% of sexually active Americans between the ages of 15-24 have an STD. Sadly; many people are not aware of the risks that come with Sex. Of course, it is always easier to believe that it can not happen to me and that the risks are not that threatening. Nevertheless, the epidemic of STD’s continue to skyrocket. For instance, every year 4 million teens contract an STD. That is 10,959 a day, 457 an hour and 1 person every eight seconds. To narrow it down a little further one in every four girls ages 15-19 have: HPV, Chlamydia, Herpes, or Trichomoniasis. That is 25% of females!
Although marriage is not something many teens talk about, it is shown in a report that 82% of teens actually do desire to have one marriage partner. The significance about having one partner can be more rewarding in a relationship. When a person involves them self in polygamous relationships it is always about satisfying their self. Moreover, in experiencing sex in the measure of marriage it can be something that is more fulfilling. Sex in marriage can create levels of depth. Due to the mutual foundation of trust and love, there will generally be a more meaningful experience. It is because Sex that is being engaged in a marriage looks past self pleasure. There is always something beyond ones own fulfillment that creates satisfaction for both partners.
At the end of the day, it is almost like that cliché, “Why settle for less when you can have more.” If you have ever trained for anything in life whether it was for sports or achieving awards there is always that satisfaction that comes from hard honest labor. That is kind of how sex is; it can be most fulfilling when it is cared for right. Some people will still choose to take the shortcut and end up with less then best. Think about it!
-Rebecca Fielding 
If you are anything like me, you are constantly on the cell phone: answering calls, texting friends and browsing the internet. A new craze has swept through teens called sexting. For those that don’t know, sexting is the use of a cell phone or computer to distribute pictures or video of sexually explicit images. In most cases, teens send pictures of themselves to either a boyfriend or girlfriend. However, this phenomenon is not just amongst teens. Celebrities such as Vanessa Hudgens, Paris Hilton, and NBA star Greg Oden have all had their private pictures posted on the internet. But let’s focus on teen sexting.
In a recent poll, 20% of teens admitted to sending nude or seminude pictures of themselves to their partner. Although the picture is only for your significant other, you have no control over who else will see that photo. There is a great possibility that your photo will be shared with friends, shared with more friends, and so on. It is impossible to know whose hands your photo will end up in.
What about the people that have these sexting photos? Under the Child Pornography Laws, anyone that has pictures of naked girls under the age of 18 can be prosecuted as sex offenders and face jail time. That also means registering as a sex offender. Think it can’t happen to you? There have been ten states that have already prosecuted people that possess sexting pictures. It doesn’t end with cell phones. Myspace, Facebook and other social networks where teens can post pictures of themselves is becoming a problem. Photos that are posted up on a profile will live on the internet forever. Anyone with a computer can look at your image and save it to their computer.
The repercussions of sexting can be very problematical. Take the story of Jesse Logan. In 2008, the teen sent nude pictures through text message to her boyfriend. After their breakup, he proceeded to send all of those pictures to everybody at her high school. Jessie suffered vicious harassment, abuse and name calling from her fellow classmates. As a result, she became depressed and afraid to go to school and eventually dropped out. Two months later, Jesse committed suicide at the age of 18. Bottom line, don’t share any pictures that you don’t want haunting you for the rest of your life. Make good Decisions!
Ruben Dominguez 
Well, I want to take this opportunity to (re)introduce myself to everyone who is involved with our project! Although, I am the newest member of the P2W family in Orange County, I actually worked for this amazing organization, many years ago, when it all began! Unfortunately, I had to take a job closer to home but when the opportunity to return presented itself, I couldn’t pass it up. There were simply too many great memories of helping kids find a better way in life and I knew it was meant to be. I’m so excited to be back on board and I just want to share with you that it is a great privilege to work with people of all ages, and help make a difference in the community and also encourage you that no matter where life leads you, it’s never too late to do what’s right!
As I’m sure you know, with the decisions we make in life, there are consequences for all of our choices. When we chose correctly we get benefits and rewards and when we chose poorly there are often costs or penalties! What I feel is important though is that we take the opportunity to reflect on our decisions, and we use them to mature into the kind of people we want to be! It’s so important how we perceive things after the fact, I have personally turned my life around and I believe that it’s no coincidence that I now have the opportunity to share about lessons that I’ve learned from my crazy life. I believe that life is a learning experience and along the way we all make mistakes.
The important thing about making mistakes is learning from them and not repeating them. Everything that I’ve gone through in my life has shaped me to become who I am today. So, I want to be clear, it’s not my purpose to obtain sympathy or defend criminal conduct but to prove that it is never too late to change! That in fact we should all learn from our past and be people of character who know when to draw the line in the sand and say “enough is enough!” I know you might be reading this and thinking that you have life figured out but I want to challenge you to recognize that it’s never too late to live life and view life in a new way!
Audie Estrada
Orange County Instructor 
Today on my way to work I drove by one of my favorite places to eat lunch since I’ve been working here at Proud To Wait…a lil place on 21st street called “I Love Teriyaki”. For only $4.99 + tax, I can get a delicious bowl of white rice topped with delightfully grilled strips of teriyaki chicken. Mmmmmm….I love this place. It’s cheap, walking distance from work, half way healthy, and each bite filled with explosive flavor causes a great experience in my mouth. Need I say more?
I started to think more about some of the things that I “love”. I’m loving this Jamba Juice that I’m sippin’ on right now. I love bacon wrapped shrimp…I love “all you can eat shrimp” at Red Lobster. I love afternoon naps. I love the tv show LOST…I love the characters and the storyline, as well as the strong messages of conflict between faith and science. I love old skool rap, r&b, oldies, hip-hop, gospel, emo, indie rock, folk, hardcore…you can pretty much say that I simply love music!
While on tour a couple months back, my friends and I were discussing our love for food. Since we were on our way down to San Diego, we were looking forward to all of the amazing dining experiences we would encounter while in So Cal. I quickly got on my iPhone and pulled up the Yelp app to find the highest reviewed restuarants in the area. I knew what I wanted to find first and foremost…a Taqueria. I was in the mood for some bomb mexican food. I tuned to my friend Kindred who was driving and exclaimed “I LOVE TACOS!” I quickly remebered a short dvd by Rob Bell called “Flame”. He says in the same train of thought…”I love my wife…and I love tacos”. Isn’t it funny that we use the word “love” so losely. Could this be the reason why so many people in today’s generation treat sex so casually and losely? We are quick to say we love something or love someone… and therefore we are quck to act upon what we say and express it through the act of sex, without taking into consideration what it means to truly love. Some people would even go as far as to say that they “love sex”.
Love is a verb. Love is sacrifical. Love is patient. Love is not self seeking. Love is a choice! When it comes to having sex…if we truly “love” someone…then we will be willing to express that love by waiting. May we take a moment to step back and reflect on how our actions line up with our words when it comes to saying, “I LOVE…” !!!
Jack “Minista RMB” Nordby
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